wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Randomize
