That's intense
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
