I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
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