You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
