Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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