Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Welp...herpes.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Randomize