He kissed a someone with a penis
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
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