he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
