Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
