He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Randomize
