theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
no you cant smoke seaweed
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
soo... how was my night?
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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