I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
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