I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
