I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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