why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
