Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
