I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
