Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
