What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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