69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
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