If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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