He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Randomize
