"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
he wants to bone in the snuggie
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
