Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
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