We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
