And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
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