Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
