i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Randomize
