He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Randomize
