Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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