Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
