I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
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