Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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