nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
