i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
The beer is more important than you right now.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
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