you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
