i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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