sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
