I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
