Have you finally orgasmed yet?
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
