If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Randomize
