Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
