We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
