It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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