Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Randomize
