my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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