I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
