I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
one might say we're banned from that church
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
