clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
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