I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
