A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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